Movies

Stoked

Neil Hetzel — Fri, 18 Aug 2006 21:56:00 GMT

I went to Blockbuster tonight to pick up a movie for Trudy and me. I had no idea what to get, none of the current releases looked like they were worth the time of day, so I just wandered the aisles. I came across a documentary named “Stoked” about the rise and fall of one of skate boarding’s biggest stars, Mark “Gator” Ragowski.

The movie brought back a lot of memories for me. Back in the late eighties I loved skateboarding. I was never much good at it. But I loved it. Mostly because it was something I could do on my own. Because of my parent’s divorce, and because I was pretty shy back then there was no way I was going to be playing Pop Warner, Little Leage or even team sports at school. After school during elementary was filled with He-Man reruns. After school during Jr. High was filled with skating.

So seeing all the Bones Brigade crew, seeing the eighties girls with their Madonna hair, seeing Christian Hasoi and all the rest really brought me back to those days when I carried a cement parking block a mile back to my house so I would have something to grind and rail slide on. It reminded me of the true despair I felt when my brand new $100 Fred Smith Alva board was hit by a car smashing it to splinters. It reminded me of the elation I felt when I successfully launched for the first time off the launch ramp that my Grandpa and I built on one of his trips to visit us from England.

If you were into skating back then you will love the first part of this movie. It’ll remind you what it was like back then when you found that perfect zen moment of execution doing your first ollie flip.

But the second act of the film is pretty depressing. It’s all about the crash days when Skateboarding moved off the rock star vert ramp and out into the streets and how the vert guys lost all their money and fame and were searching for way to rebuild it. The movie chronicles the impact of this shift in culture on Gator, how he couldn’t compete or adapt and how he lost everything, eventually taking out the rage and frustration of not just his collapse but his total lack of guidance on the body of innocent girl.

I had no idea that one of the guys I used to read about in Thraser and Transworld, one of the guys I used to think of as a kind of a untouchable god, was now a murderer. How weird is that? How messed up is that? Even after watching the movie I don’t really want to believe it. But it’s true.

Anyway, not to be depressing but if you had any interest in skate boarding at all I recommend it.

King Kong

Neil Hetzel — Fri, 16 Dec 2005 18:55:00 GMT

Go see this movie.

I just read this and I really can't believe what I'm reading. Maybe I'm still too much of a movie geek but I just don't get why this movie is not destroying box office records.

I went and saw King Kong at a midnight showing last Wednesday. It's not the greatest movie of all time. But holly cow is it a great ride. I've read about concerns that people have over the 3 hour length but for me the time just flew past. Most of the extra length is in the first act of the film. Peter Jackson takes a long time to build up all the characters and their various reasons for going to Skull Island. But once the characters arrive, the movie cranks along at a really fast pace and leaves you no room to get bored.

And by really fast pace I don't mean two hours of up close shaky cam blurriness ala Ridley Scott. The predicament that the crew and Anne Darrow find themselves in continues to escalate in some of the most creative action complications that I've seen in a long time. Yeah some of it is ridiculously unfeasible (and it's because Jackson has taken care to make these characters real that you're willing to suspend enormous amounts of disbelief and just enjoy the show) but for me that was part of the fun. For example, at one point Anne find's herself the potential snack of not one, not two but three T-Rexes. Of course the cynic in me says “yeah Jackson, 3 don’t make it 3 times the fun“. But in Jackson's hands the complication goes from a potentially disappointing mess of blurry action to some really ingenious usage of screen elements that have, at one point Anne hanging from the teeth of one T-Rex to avoid falling into the waiting maw of another.

And Kong? Oh boy. This is some monkey. I've never seen a monkey that acted this well. Not even Clive. The initial scenes, where you get your first glimpse of Kong are actually scary. If you ever got to the zoo, walk past the gorilla enclosure. Take a minute to think what it would be like to just jump into that enclosure with one of the big silver backs. Look at how they move and watch the muscles in their back and arms. Think about how easily they could crush the life out of you. That's the kind of up close, vicious, untamed horror that Kong is at the start of the film. When Anne is initially taken by the big lug he just sees her as a potential distraction, certainly not a major love interest. He rushes back to his den where he pounds his chest and screams out to the island essentially (at least this is what I thought) proclaiming his domination over everything there. It sounds silly but I was actually a bit shaken. You see Anne being flung about so viciously you just *know* he's going to break her neck. Kong is definitely a monster.

But eventually Anne and Kong make a connection. With almost no dialogue whatsoever they transition from captor and captive into two beings that find in one another something that they were missing. Yeah, they fall in love. And Andy Serkis who was the actor that portrayed Gollum deserves some sort of recognition for the amazingly real movements and facial expressions that he gave to the CG Kong. If it weren't for Andy the emotions between Anne and Kong would have fallen flat and the entire lynchpin of the movie would have given way.

The movie's climax is wonderful and visually amazing. The original King Kong just did not do did it for me. To be honest, I find it boring as hell. I know lots of geeks that swear it’s the greatest movie ever and I'm sure Peter Jackson is one of them. To me it's stilted, cheesy and boring. So while this remake was in production I kept asking myself vaugly..how interesting can bi-planes attacking a giant monkey be? Again, all I had in my head was the original which to me is not that great. The answer? In the hands of Peter Jackson, plenty interesting. Maybe it's because I'm afraid of heights but Jackson does his best with camera angles to really bring out just how high the Empire State building is. Then there are plenty of gut churning tilts and yaws as the planes swoop in to shoot Kong. I felt my legs go wobbly (as they always do when I'm up high) when Kong finally gets his hands on one and tears it apart leaving the pilot and gunner to fall to their deaths. Good stuff.

I've glossed over a lot of stuff but I hope it's enough to get you to go see the movie. I don't go see a lot of movies in the theater any more. Like most of America I've decided that Hollywood charges literally insane ticket prices for sub-par entertainment. But when something is good I’ll pay plenty to see it. King Kong is good. Real good. Go see this movie.

-Neil

Uncle Orson reviews "Serenity"

Neil Hetzel — Tue, 04 Oct 2005 01:34:00 GMT

I think he was a bit over the top. I mean comparing Joss Whedon to Shakespeare is a bit over the top. But the man has won a Hugo and Nebula award and he knows Shakespeare a heck of a lot better than I do. I loved the movie too, but Uncle Orson really loved it.

-Neil

Burn the Land and Boil the Sea...

Neil Hetzel — Mon, 26 Sep 2005 23:04:00 GMT

I'm a little tired right now but I keep meaning to write this and well, now is as good a time as ever. I mention that I'm tired because the subject matter deserves a more thoughtful and planned out posting but its not going to get it.

About a year ago I read on a gamer web site about a show that I vaguely remembered seeing the advertisements for a few years before that. The show was called Firefly. It was a show about a spaceship. That's pretty much all I knew at the time. Then I read Monte Cook's essay on why he thought the show was great (not just what the show was about but specifically what made it great.) and, although still skeptical I filed it under “check this out maybe when I have some spare cash to buy the boxed set.”

A few months ago Trudy and I went to the movies and saw a trailer for a movie called “Serenity” and although I knew nothing about either “Firefly” or “Serenity” (BTW Firefly is class of ship while Serenity is the name of the ship in the show) I realized that they were both one and the same story. Not long after that I saw that Sci-Fi was re-running all of the Firefly episodes in preparation for the Serenity movie. I figured that this must be at least worth Tivo-ing ( can't believe that is a verb now) and did so.

Boy am I glad I did. What the hell was Fox thinking airing these episodes out of order and then canceling the show? How can you not know when you are sitting on a gem of a show. It just a shame. So many shows are total crap and this one is just wonderful and so few people know about it.

So what's it about?

Well, if I had to pitch the TV show I would say (As I believe the creator of the show Joss Wheaton has said): Imagine that Han Solo left the cantina before Luke and Ben arrived. Imagine what his life would have been. Lots of odd jobs to bring in enough money to pay for food and fuel to the next job. Lots of running from law. But somewhere deep down Han has a conviction that belies his rogue-ishness. Somewhere deep down Han is an honorable and loyal.

This show is about the people that Enterprise would have flow right past. It's not about hanging out with the Federation or the Jedi High Council. It's about the murky, Grey backwaters of the empire and how men and women either hang onto their civility by finding their own code or how they loose their civility (and their humanity) if they don't.

And there's mystery. Why is the Alliance (Firefly parlance for “Empire”) relentlessly pursuing a young Alliance doctor who's broken his insane sister out of a high security facility? Why does a supposed preacher know so much about guns and killing?

All these questions promised to be answered in “Serenity“ which starts this Friday. The entire purpose of this post is to convince you to go spend your hard earned money to see this film. I won't lie. I'm being selfish. I'm nearly finished with the box set and I just can't believe that I won't be able to watch characters this cool and interesting any more. I want more Serenity and the only way that's going to happen is if the movie is a success. So go see it please. That'd be shiny.

A note to anyone with a Tivo and and who is able to record the Sci-Fi channel: Sci-Fi is having a Firefly marathon on Tuesday Sept 27th starting at noon and showing the first 10 of 15 episodes all in one shot. Having seen all of those episodes it should be plenty to get you up to speed for the movie.

-Neil

Movie Quick Notes

Neil Hetzel — Mon, 20 Jun 2005 18:34:00 GMT

Madagascar:

I wish I could be nicer to this movie because everyone I've met seems to like it. But simply put I thought this film was bad. I don't want to overdo it and call it terrible, or awful but its tempting. The plot is generic. 4 Animal buddies, on display in the central park zoo find themselves stranded on the island of Madagascar and learn (sort of) about their true natures. To me, none of the major characters was funny or interesting or compelling on any level. They all seemed to be walking clichés that pretty much did and said exactly what you expected them to do and say. I still had hope however because so many of the people I have spoke with told me that the Penguins steal the show. The truth is the Penguins do steal the show...but they're still bad. You know how 90% of Saturday Night Live skits take a moderately funny gag and drag it on and on until any joy or humor is beaten out of the concept by the sheer bludgeoning power of repetitiveness? And you know how its the repetitiveness itself that is supposed to be funny? Well, that's the Penguins for you. Gimmick: Diabolical penguins masquerade as cute, cuddly and benign animals. Now repeat said gag each and every time the audience is so bored with the main characters that they may lapse into coma. Rinse repeat. Don't bother to go see this movie. Don't even rent it. Find a friend of yours who buys it and borrow it from him or her if you must.

DreamWorks animation in general seems to be plagued by bad, bad movies. I was one of the few people I knew that though Shrek was just “ok“. I figured this was because Trudy and I endured nearly 93 million viewings of Shrek when Molly was in the hospital a couple of years ago. But as it turns out the rest of the DreamWorks Animations films leave much of the same bad taste in my mouth. Shrek 2 was not nearly as good as Shrek so if I only thought Shrek was “ok“you can imagine what I thought of the sequel. Shark tale is abysmal and by far the worst of the four movies they've made. At least Madagascar has that going for it.

One thing that I've noticed in nearly all their films is a sort of forced hipness in their attempts at humor. Entire scenes and sequences will be constructed with the express intent of paying off the entire sequence with a reference to some “other” bit of pop culture lore out of another film, or a song or even a nursery rhyme. Sometimes it works (case in point “The Muffin Man“sequence in Shrek) but most of the time its just stupid and leaves me wondering what the point is (case in point the Planet of the Apes reference in Madagascar). I just keep thinking “You've wasted 10 minutes of film to pay it off with someone else's work“. It feels as though the story tellers are very lazy and simply swing from reference to reference borrowing other creative people's hard earned laughs.

I really don't enjoy negative reviews. There are too many people out there to eager to lambaste things and I try not to be one of them. But when you spend $40 to take your family to the movies I have a certain level of expectation and this movie fell far short. But in the interest of trying to temper this review I'll say something nice about Madagascar. Whoever the guy is that voices the “King” of the lemurs is brilliant. The King is by far the most interesting and truly entertaining character in the film and I enjoyed both his performance and the performance of the animators who animated him. Good job guys. I just wish the rest of the film lived up to that one character.

Batman Begins:

I am not a batman fan in the sense that I know each and every permutation of the character down through the years. When I was young I did buy Batman comics and he was one of my favorites but I don't consider myself a true fan. I say this only because some true fans might have nits to pick about this movie that I missed.

This is movie is very good. You should go see this movie now because it is by far the best Batman movie that has ever been made...yes even better than the Tim Burton original that kick started the character as a true franchise back in the early 90s. The great thing about this movie is that it takes its time. Its not so eager to jump into the suit and start kicking Joker butt as the Burton film was. The Bruce Wayne character in this film is a truly tortured man who carries a lot of guilt around for the murder of his parents. We first see Bruce in a labor camp in Nepal. He's abandoned his home and chosen to embed himself into the criminal underworld of a far away country, simultaneously confronting his guilt and running away from it. From there he is recruited by Liam Neeson into a secret society whose goal is to root out the evil found in all societies. They give Wayne a focus to his anger and framework from which to operate. It felt as if the first hour of the film was spent on learning how Bruce Wayne was trained by this organization physically and how Neeson's character slowly forced Wayne to confront his deep fear with regard to his parent's death. There is an unexpected twist (minor) at the end of Bruce's training that leaves a permanent rift between him and the Shadow Society and sends us back to Gotham for Bruce to begin his attempt at cleaning up the city.
When creating Batman Begins the writers must have sat down and asked the following question:

“Why does a guy dress up as a Bat? Why couldn't a billionaire fight crime in other, more efficient ways?” The wonderful thing about this film is it takes Wayne's fear, his guilt and his desire to do good and follow in his father's footsteps and blends them all together so that the obvious output is Batman. Once the movie lays that groundwork Wayne dressing up as a Bat seems logical.

Christian Bale does perfectly as Batman. I heard someone say they wish it could have been Keaton again. I think Keaton did a great job but Bale is better. Gary Oldman, Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman are all great as usual but never once steal the show from Bale...which is a tribute to how great they really are. Katie Holmes is does a decent job as the assistant DA as well.

In the end there is an obvious hook into the sequel and usually I'm kind of turned off by that kind of thing. But in this case it all worked well and I found myself wanting to roll right into the next story without stopping. That's a good movie.

-Neil

Another SW Movie? Really?

Neil Hetzel — Mon, 30 May 2005 08:06:00 GMT

Just before the premier of Revenge of the Sith the thought crossed my mind that all this farewell, last Star Wars ever business might be a bit like Cher's farewell tour(s). What if a few years from now Lucas decided that he wasn't done?

Later, as we were enjoying the hype the very night of the premier it struck me like a thunderbolt: Who could possibly turn away from all this? Not that Lucas enjoys being personally involved with all the fan nuttiness but who could actually turn away from a $2 billion + empire that as of this latest movie has it fullest head of steam in 22 years? Yes there will be a TV series and no doubt the Clone Wars cartoon will have at least one more season in it. But TV series are not movies. Star Wars is a saga that is embedded in the language of film. Comics, books, cartoons and even TV series are mere excursions from the core of what Star Wars truly is. Those other mediums have life because of the bright centers of intensity generated by the movies. Lucas may be done with Star Wars but he does not want Star Wars to be done and none of those other mediums have the power to maintain what Star Wars is.

A week or so after the premier rumors hit that Lucas was planning another film. I groaned out loud when I read this because there's no way he's hard at work on another movie after dedicating the last 10 years or so to making the prequels. The man is in his 60s. I wrote it off to typical Internet speculation. After all it seemed that Cinescape was basing their report on speculation that they had encouraged Lucas to make. Then I hit TFN today and read this. Now this makes sense in terms of the $2 billion empire. Lucas gets the ball rolling on the TV series and steps aside. The TV series runs for 5 years. There's a one to two year gap after then end of the series and then a new movie is announced. The movie won't be directed by Lucas but I'll bet money that if he's still alive he will be the executive producer. Of course this is all speculation. I don't claim to “know” what's going to happen and to be honest I'd rather it didn't. I like Star Wars being over and done with. And I like that the all 6 movies chronicle the rise, fall and redemption of a single man. Adding one more Star Wars film will be money making decision and it'll feel tacked on as obviously it will have nothing to do with Darth Vader. But in terms of keeping the franchise alive it makes total sense. And I'll bet money that Spielberg will get first crack at the next one. Lucas and Spielberg are best friends and although Spielberg has said that Star Wars is “George's baby” rumor is that he had a bit of involvement in this last film. If George has had is say with Star Wars and has no interest in directing a SW movie again I can't see Spielberg turning it down.

Well, that's enough nerd speculation for now.

-Neil

My Star Wars week.

Neil Hetzel — Wed, 25 May 2005 01:07:00 GMT

How the hecks do I even begin to cover what went on last week? I guess I should start by saying that I took the week off. About a month ago I started to look at my schedule for trooper appearances and realized that there was no way I was going to be able to do all the different events we had planned and still work. Only in America can you realize that your goofy hobby is just taking up too much time and the thing that puts bread on your table and a roof over your children’s heads is just going to have to take a back seat for a week.

The first event I had was on Tuesday morning at 8:30am. We had agreed to help KSLX with a promotion they had thought up called “Spot the Stormtrooper”. This involved me changing into a dive skin in assorted parking lots across the valley (I know ladies, try and contain yourselves), putting on the white plastic and pacing up and down a sidewalk on a busy street waving at drivers. The idea was that the 8th caller would win tickets to the movie. Normally we only do charity related events with the possible convention thrown in here or there. We agreed to do this for KSLX because they agreed to promote us as a charity organization and get the word out that we like to do hospital appearances etc. Ultimately there were three appearances a day for three days. I only did one appearance for each of those three days. My first was 8:30am on Tuesday, then 11-ish on Wednesday and back to 8:30am on Thursday (which was an unbelievable pain in the ass after staying up to watch the 12:15am showing the night before…didn’t get to bed until 4:00am). Anyway, the high point of all of these KSLX gigs was John, the promotions manager who was there with the van every morning. He’s just a super nice guy and big Star Wars fan to boot. I tried to talk him into joining but wearing armor just wasn’t his thing. He however did show me pics of his huge Star Wars collection which was very impressive. I thought it was interesting that John collected Star Wars cans (cola, beer whatever) from around the world. Anyway, he was kind enough to snap these pictures of me from Thursday morning.

The Kiss Army wants you!

After my KSLX romp on Tuesday morning I went back home, got cleaned up and headed strait for Phoenix Children’s Hospital. PCH has such a special place in my heart and I was reminded of just how grateful I am when we spent nearly 5 hours in costume and visited nearly every corner of the hospital. This is the reason why I troop. It’s fun to be on TV. It’s fun to get attention. We all love it. But my experience with staying at the hospital (and my wife can vouch quadruple for this as she is the one that did most of the staying) for long periods of time is that it’s an enormously boring affair punctuated my moments of pain and fear. Perhaps that isn’t everyone’s definition but without a doubt the majority of people who are stuck in a hospital would describe it as boring. Now imagine being a child, whose natural state is one of high energy, play and inquisitiveness. Imagine how *extra* boring it is to be a child in the hospital. We were so grateful for the brief respites from the boredom and fear when Mickey Mouse or Spider-man would show up to visit Molly. I am so happy that I get to give that back to some other family going through some other trial. It’s a very small way of giving back. How can you ever repay the men and women who saved your kids life? I would do it more if they would have us.

This was taken in the main foyer of the hospital. I don't know how many pictures we took but it was a bunch.
This young man was in intensive care and extremely happy to see us.
Me shaking hands with a young boy too shy to look at me.

The next day (Wednesday) I had another KSLX appearance around 11:00am and then later that night we all gathered at the Cine Capri for opening night festivities. To say it was crazy would be an understatement. There were tons of people in line, tons of people in costume, tons of TV cameras and interviews. At one point Harkins had us stand guard as they allowed the 12:01 showing to being seating. They didn’t want anyone cutting in line so it was our job to flank either side of the line as the patrons walked in. I have to imagine that was fun for them…having Stormtroopers flank them as they walked into the theater. We spent about four hours in costume and then it was time to see the big show. As we all de-geared Harkins allowed (in exchange for our “guard duty”) some of our significant others to cordon off a section of the theater for us. I have to say it was such a blast watching the film with my family and a ton of other Star Wars geeks who love the series as much if not more than I do. What a great memory.

Steve and I before we head out.

Steve and I with the Channel 3 lady (I still don't know her name).
Anyone who watched Empire closely will appreciate this costume. What do you grab when fleeing an Imperial occupied city? Why your Ice Cream maker of course.
Jen, Me and Steve in front of the Cine Capri. Behind us you can see the outline of Josh as DV with Trey in front of him.
GQ Vader meets ANH Vader. Tom(left) and Josh(right) pose together. Despite the fact that we strive to keep two Vaders separate from one another at any given event the crowd really seemed to enjoy seeing them both.
I just love this pic because of the way the Little girl on the right is ogling Josh.
Mom, Ian, Me and Trudy. Can you believe my wife stayed up past 10:00pm?! She must love me.
Klaus (Royal Guard), Steve, me and Channel 3 news lady right before we went on TV. They guy with the ball cap on the right was annoying and kept trying to hit on the Channel 3 lady. She's got a ring you giant Tool. And nobody cares if you're a journalism major. Jeez.
Steve shows off the benefits of the Imperial dental plan.
This is what I love to see. Can you imagine how cool that must have been for this kid? Lancer (left) has handed the little boy his FX Lightsaber (aka $100 toy) so he dual Darth Steve.
My wife took this picture and then got my attention and forcibly rolled her eyes at me. I deserved it, but you know you only live once. Thanks honey ;)
Steve and Lancer put on a mini-dual. These two performed a dual on stage at the PSO and rocked the house.
Klaus, Fernando, Lancer, Gabby, Craig and Steve with Ch3 lady (I'm sorry but I don't know the name of the female imperial officer back there). I was on some other channel when they were doing this.
This is where I was. Channel 15 news. From left to right me, Josh and Jen. I actually got to speak in this one! That's Dan Harkin in the foreground with his back to the camera.
We flank the line as the patrons enter for the 12:01am showing.
Me with Dan Harkin. Dan is one of my Valley heroes. He's not just a business owner but a true film lover who has done a ton to enhance film going and bring more film events to the Valley than anyone. It was an honor to meet him.
The whole group with Dan.
The DSG de-geared and ready for the show!

Thursday morning came way too early. We got to bet around 4:00am and then got right back up around 6:00am. Then it was off to do the last KSLX appearance and then right back home. When I walked in the door Trudy looked half asleep at her desk so I told her to go get some sleep and I would watch Luke. Luckily right after Trudy went and laid down one of her girlfriends showed up unannounced and asked if Luke could come play with her son. “There is a god.” I thought to myself and my son shot out the door to go play with his best friend. I immediately jumped in bed and Trudy and I both got a bit of nap.

Later that evening I was told that we were being invited down to Channel 3 for some in studio blah blah blah. I drove down to the Channel 3 studios and got suited up. The folks down there were incredibly kind and fun to work with. The only slightly annoying part was being asked to wait in a very small foyer as they spent 5 minutes filling it with smoke from a smoke machine. I can’t see out of my helmet anyway so as more and more of my vision was obscured by the billowing smoke I told Gabby (our princess Leia) to find a spot to stand and I would just follow the bright white blur of her dress. I was petrified that I would trip over some cables or something but in the end it worked out fine and was fun memorable experience.

Steve points at Channel 3 news lady.
Tom Scholar (PhoenixVader) and his son Eric and the Channel 3 news studios.

Steve and I at the studios. Chicks dig guys in improvisational dancewear...right?
Tom's sweet ass ;) The people that work at Channel 3 must have wondered what in the hell was going on.
Click here to check out our appearance on Channel 3.

Friday morning Trudy had several errands to run and Molly had school so it was just me and Luke all day long. Now, I have to be honest that I’ve dreamed about taking my kids to go see Star Wars for a long time. When the last one came out Luke wasn’t even one and Molly had been diagnosed with Leukemia. Although I went and saw the film I don’t remember caring much about it and I sure as heck couldn’t take any of my kids to see it. When such an obvious father and son opportunity presented itself on Friday morning Trudy and I sat down and discussed whether or not we thought Luke could handle the film. We decided that with the exception of the immolation scene Luke had seen all the other bits of violence in other Star Wars movies and wasn’t affected by them. Trudy was worried about the scene with the younglings but since Luke isn’t really old enough to con on the inference of that scene it rolled over him without the impact that it may have on older kids. We decided that he was too young to actually see the immolation scene so when it got to that point in the film I distracted him and wouldn’t let him watch until it was over. What really surprised me is that he was not afraid of any of it at all. I expected him to be a bit nervous about the big screen and the loud sound system but he ate it all up and wanted more.
I suppose it’s a bit a silly and sentimental but I one of the biggest rewards of last week was taking my boy to go see this final film. I saw the first one when I was four. I saw the last one with my four year old son. What a wonderful book end this long 30 year infatuation. Silly? Maybe, but I’ll remember it for the rest of my life.

Luke with his BK Jabba he insisted on taking to the movie.
This pic is getting framed :)

Friday night we were asked to come by Phoenix Children’s Hospital to help present some award to a parting staff member in one of the departments at PCH. Evidently this man was well loved because he had a large turn out and they (the organizers) agreed to donate some money back to PCH on our behalf. That’s the only reason I did it but I’m glad I did. Basically my rule of thumb with PCH is “I’ll do whatever you want.”

Waiting out in the hallway to present.

After PCH I trooped the Cine Capri again and picked up some pointers for my big night…

Saturday.

Now, being a Stormtrooper is really, really cool. Very few things compare with putting on that armor for the first time and traipsing around Mill Ave. on Halloween. But somehow I managed to get lucky enough to do something that very, very few people get to do. I got to be Darth Vader.

I just want to stop here and say thanks to Tom Scholar who called me up on Thursday and *volunteered* to trust me with his $5,000 costume on Saturday night. That’s just amazing to me because I don’t know if I would be trusting enough to do the same. Not only am I thankful that he trusted me but that he gave me a chance to do something I’ve dreamed about since I was 4.

I GOT TO BE FRIGGIN DARTH VADER Y’ALL!!!!!

Can you hear my wife groaning. I can. :)

The suit is hotter than the hinges of Hades but that didn’t stop me from having a blast! Unless you’ve worn one you have no idea how powerful the suit makes you feel. Not powerful in terms of violence but in terms of effecting the people around you. As a Stromtrooper people feel relatively safe approaching to you. As Darth Vader people are much more reticent. I noticed after I walked out the Cine Capri in full gear that a ring of people had formed around me but no one was willing to actually approach me. I had to slump my shoulders a bit and take on more of a “friendly” posture in order for people to feel safe coming up to me. After that people kept coming up and asking for pictures and you could really see how happy people were to be standing next to Darth Vader. It was a great feeling to shake the kid’s hands and see them freak out that they were meeting DV. Anyway, childhood dream #465…check

We walked into the theater just before the show and people went wild. I was expecting to shake hands etc but within 30second I was mobbed by a bunch of kids who wanted autographs. One poor kid got a 'Neil Hetzel' autograph because I signed it that way out of habbit...hopefully my scrawl looked like Darth Vader. Lord knows I couldn't see what I was writing anyway.

Back: Zenis, me, Klauss, Sean, Gabby Steve Front: Craig and Kevin

And that, in a nutshell is my Star Wars week. When I started out the week I told myself that no matter how tired I got I was going to do every single event that I was asked to do. I did. And I am so grateful that I did. Star Wars was a big deal in my life and I will always be grateful for its influence on me. I was determined to make the most of this send off as I do believe that this is the end of the franchise. There may be TV shows and cartoons for a few more years to come. But the story of Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie, R2-D2, C-3P0, Yoda, Obi-Wan and Anakin is over. It was a great send off and I’m glad I got to be a small part of it.

-Neil

The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe

Neil Hetzel — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 10:56:00 GMT

Every night Trudy or I read our kids stories. Its one of the traditions from my family that I’m trying to hang on to because of all the things that my parents did for me, reading to me probably had the highest impact and return on investment.

A few weeks ago I came to the conclusion that the comprehension skills due to the age gap between my two kids had become large enough that neither of them were getting what they needed when we read to both of them at once. Either the book was too wordy and confusing for Luke and just right for Molly or perfect for Luke and so easy that it became boring for Molly. So Trudy and I talked it over and we decided to split up the reading between us. Trudy took Luke and I took Molly.

Even though Molly is only five and a half, I decided to try out The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe. I figured that I could read a chapter to her and if it was too difficult then we would switch to something more age appropriate. To my surprise she was perfectly capable of (with a little help) processing the language, understanding what I was reading and giving me a brief synopsis of each chapter the next day. So for the past couple of weeks we have been working our way steadily through the book one chapter a night. We finished last night.

As you may know, The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe movie is currently in production. I’ve been reading a lot about the film since it was announced a few years back and despite how gorgeous the film looks and despite how great a story it is I’ve seen a steady stream of fan boy critics (mostly on AICN) bemoaning the Christian underpinnings of the story. I’ve seen comments with regard to how Hollywood is trying to “shove this religion stuff down our throat…” which is so ridiculous it’s absurd. But by far the most numerous complaint goes something like this: “I like the story but I hope they take all those religious references out of the movie” doubtlessly followed by a reference to humans being called “sons of Adam or daughters of Eve.”

It’s been a long time since I’ve read the book. I think the last time I read it was in Junior High School. But having just completed again it with my daughter I'm more firmly convinced that a great deal of people who dislike religion have nearly no education in what it is they so ardently detest. The fan boy complaint speaks to a complete lack of familiarity with source material because the complaint is so superficial.

The book is a complete Christian analogy. In fact it is such an analogy that I can’t help but wonder if Lewis and Tolkien ever had heated debates about it given Tolkien’s famous aversion to analogy and direct correlations. Here is the secret for all of the fan boy detractors of The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe. If you felt your heart stir at any point while reading the book then you are being touched by Christ’s story and the promise of Christianity. Now quick, go take a shower and wash off the ickyness! I’m not saying that the Christ story is *the* definitive moral truth of the universe and that Lewis is tricking you into being a Christian by burying it in a fantasy setting. What I mean to convey is that the story of Christ has power and resonance with human beings and has had for thousands of years. Something so powerful deserves to be understood in its own right and not looked down on and despised out of cultural habit or scientific conceit, even if there are examples of Christians who are only such in name and not by action and even if the physical proof in support of the story does not materialize. Believing that there is someone who sees you in terms of your higher nature and is willing to sacrifice their life in order to bring it out in you is, whether factually true or not, a powerful idea that binds individuals, families and societies together.

Even so, what parts of the book could we remove to meet the requirements of the fan boy? Perhaps we could get rid of Turkish delight, the confection that tempts Edmund into betraying his brothers and sisters to the witch for personal gain. Maybe we should change the story so that Narnia isn’t buried in an endless frozen season of death where it was “never Christmas”. Perhaps we should remove Santa Claus, an obvious reference to a Christian holiday, and the gifts he gives to each of the four children. Of course Peter, the High King of Narnia, general of Aslan’s army and oldest of the children would have to go. He’s such a blatant stand in for Peter the apostle upon who’s rock Christ built his church. Edmund would have to go as well. Edmund, who betrays his family for personal gain but is rewarded with enslavement and who, because of the forgiveness of his family and the love of Aslan, is able to forget his misdeeds and dedicate himself to the service of Aslan’s army. Edmund, who, in the end, is the most responsible for winning the war against the witch, is Saul of Tarsis, later Paul and thus too obvious a reference. Susan and Lucy would have to go as their presence at Aslan’s death and resurrection too closely mimics both Mary Magdalene and as Matthew puts it in Matthew 28:1 the other Mary’s arrival at Christ’s tomb. The witch would be out because she is obviously Satan, an imposter trying to take the rightful place of mankind by robbing the world of hope and joy and enslaving all creatures to do her will. The Emperor across the sea whose laws and will Aslan enforces is out. And finally Aslan himself would have to go, specifically his willing submission to the witch’s knife and his resurrection at dawn. In the end we are left with a wardrobe and some fur coats with moth balls in them. I’m looking forward to that movie, aren’t you?

Ok, that was a bit sarcastic. But having read the firm desire of several movie patrons prior to re-reading this book with my daughter I continued to turn the pages in disbelief that someone would actually think removing religion from this story was even possible. It just simply is not. At least not without so warping the story so much that it’s unrecognizable.

As for my daughter she was blissfully unaware of any correlation to the story of Christ which is just as it should be. She swung her imaginary sword during the battles and pretended to ride on Aslan’s back like Susan and Lucy. She guessed at what treachery the witch would carry out in the next night’s chapter and crossed her arms and scowled when Aslan was killed. She lit up when Aslan returned and very much would like to be a queen in Narnia some day. I’m excited to take her to the movie, but she just handed me the next book in the series because she wants me to be ready for tomorrow night. I can't think of a better way to pass the time.

-Neil

The Return of the King Special Extended Edition

Neil Hetzel — Tue, 21 Dec 2004 01:34:00 GMT

It’s December. Does anyone else feel like there should be another Lord of the Rings movie coming out? For the last three years I’ve looked forward to December and the next installment of the trilogy. This makes year number four a total bummer as I’ve had to satiate my movie lust on films like Oceans 12. Not that Oceans 12 is a bad film, it’s isn't. It’s actually pretty entertaining. But the last three years have been something special and I really am missing it.

Luckily there’s something out there (just in time for Christmas!) that eases the sting (ok, that was terrible) of a no LOTR film year. I speak of course of the newly released Return of the King extended, director’s, new fangled, lots of disks, so much content you’ll need a spoon, in a pretty blue sleeve, cut.

First some stats:

50 minutes of new footage added to the film

250 minute running time

This is a LOOONNNG movie. But when I say LOOONNNG it shouldn’t be confused with LAAAMMME or BOOORRRING. When I watched Return of the King in theaters and subsequently on the theatrical release DVD I couldn’t help but feel that it was somewhat half baked. Yes, it was fantastic. But it was missing some really key moments that made the book memorable and even though it had been many years since I’d read it the absence of those scenes from the film made it loose some pay off for me. Three items in particular bugged me. I’m happy to say that two of these three scenes are back in and add a great deal to the film.

First is Gandalf’s confrontation with the Witch King. In the book, when Grond, hammer of the underworld, arrives to smash down the gates of Minas Tirith the first being through the gate is the Witch King and Gandalf confronts him, denying him entrance to the city. It’s a wonderful and memorable scene somewhat akin to Gandalf denying the Balrog passage across the bridge of Khaza Dum. For whatever reason this confrontation was moved from the gates of Minas Tirith to the tower wall and takes place as Gandalf rides to save Faramir from being burned alive by his father. The book took great pains to build the confrontation and then pay off the utter hopelessness of Gandalf’s situation with the surprise arrival of Theoden and Rohirim. This is somewhat muted in the film since the gates have already been smashed and the city is the process of being overrun when the confrontation occurs. But it’s a great scene and does a really great job of showing the audience just how powerful the Nazgul are and how dire the situation is.

Next is Mouth of Sauron who confronts Aragorn and company at the black gate. I loved this scene in the book but I love the scene in the film even more. For those of you that have neither read the book nor seen this extended cut, the Mouth is a living man who has been so corrupted by Sauron that his only purpose is to speak words for the disembodied lord. He is a mouthpiece through which Sauron may confront the upstart king. The words he speaks are so foul they cause his lips to crack and bleed. What makes this scene is the utter brilliance of the costume design, the acting and a special effects solution that is so simple and elegant that it had me nearly in tears. You see, the Mouth’s mouth is just way too big. Between the lack of eyes and the overlarge mouth the Mouth is one of the creepiest looking villains I’ve seen to date. He is terribly foul looking but something about that oversized mouth adds such a level of menace it puts the entire scene firmly over the top (in a good way). I kept staring at the mouth and wondering how the Weta workshop guys has concocted a prosthetic that would look so huge and yet work so well. If you do pick up this DVD set make sure to check out the Weta workshop documentary on disk 3. The solution is so simple that it becomes elegant.

Do you think he has veneers?

So what was the third scene that bugged me but failed to add the necessary weight the film? Well, its more of a complaint than part of a review, but when Witch King confronts Eowyn the dialogue in the book is vastly superior to the dialogue in the movie:

Movie:

Eowyn: “I will kill you if you touch him.”

Nazgul: “Do not come between a Nazgul and his prey.”

Fighting

Nazgul: “You fool. No man can kill me. Die, now.”

Eowyn: “I am no man.”

Book:

Eowyn: “Begone, foul dwimmerlaik, lord of carrion! Leave the dead in peace!”

Nazgul: A cold voice answered: "Come not between the Nazgul and his prey! Or he will not slay thee in thy turn. He will bear thee away to the houses of lamentation, beyond all darkness, where thy flesh shall be devoured, and thy shriveled mind be left naked to the Lidless Eye."

Eowyn: A sword rang as it was drawn. "Do what you will; but I will hinder it, if I may."

Nazgul: "Hinder me? Thou fool. No living man may hinder me!"

Now maybe I’m just a fool for flowery language but c’mon “bear thee away to the houses of lamentation, beyond all darkness, where thy flesh shall be devoured, and thy shriveled mind be left naked to the Lidless Eye." Vs. “Do not come between a Nazgul and his prey.” Which one gives you a hint at the utter malice and evil of the Nazgul? I know that a lot of this is conveyed visually, but which line gives you some insight into how the Nazgul see the world and how awful and terrible it must be to be under the control of Sauron for thousands of years?

In addition to my pet scenes being added back into the film there are a host of other add ins that benefit the film greatly. The 50 minutes added to the movie is not added in great chunks. Instead most of the additional footage is spread across the film in short, story an character development moments. Take for instance a small moment when Gandalf and Pippin exit Denethor’s throne room. In the theatrical release the movie cuts directly to evening and Gandalf and Pippin looking out on the mountains that separate Gondor from Mordor. In this extended release, when they exit the throne room, Gandalf explains to Pippin that the white tree of Gondor is dying but that there remains hope so long as it blooms. Of course at the time there are no blossoms on the tree. Later, as Denethor takes Faramir to be burned the camera pans upward to show a single blossom on the white tree. It’s a small moment but it goes a long way to helping characterize Denethor as a man obsessed with his grief and unwilling to see the signs of hope around him.

Other scenes include characterization moments for Eowyn as well as some time spent in the houses of healing by both Eowyn and Faramir. Their meeting here and subsequent scenes exposing them as two people who have lost fathers whose love they never fully received goes a long way toward explaining their closeness at Aragorn's coronation\wedding.

But you don’t care about all that mushy crap right? You want more battles! You want blood and guts and Orc heads mounted on your living room wall right? Well, rest assured there’s plenty of that here too. From an extended Paths of the Dead sequence complete with an avalanche of skulls to pirate fights to massive piles of dead orcs in front of the Minas Tirith city gate the battle and action sequences are expanded, extended and done in such a way that the story of the film is enhanced.

This DVD set is a tremendous accomplishment on its own. I’ve really only touched on a portion of the movie content saying nothing abut the two extra DVDs containing documentaries and features of all different sorts. And did I mention the movie has four commentary tracks?

This is a whole new film and for only $22.95-$24.95 (depending on where you shop) I’d be hard pressed to come up with a product that has a better cost to value ratio. If you have more than just a passing interest in The Return of the King I highly recommend picking up a copy.

-Neil

Mormons not lumped in with "Other"

Neil Hetzel — Sat, 13 Nov 2004 08:41:00 GMT

I was checking out an election slide show on Yahoo! and came across this religious demographic breakdown from the AP:

I thought it was interesting that Mormons have become large and powerful enough to have their own demographic wholly separate from “Other”.

-Neil